081 – One Flesh Finally Explained

Have you been confused by this biblical reference?

Welcome to episode 81 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the real meaning of the biblical phrase “one flesh”.

I’ve heard so many Bible teachers and preachers stumble over their explanation of this biblical reference to marriage. The real meaning of “one flesh” is actually rather simple. Once again, science has finally caught up with the Bible.

Today’s podcast will help you understand this mysterious reference to marriage.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

How To Meet Your Husband’s Needs

3 Commitments To Meet His Every Need

You may recall from my previous article I made things real simple for the husbands. After all, we men are simple minded creatures. I tried to explain to husbands their primarily responsibility is to meet their wife’s needs. Well ladies, surely you don’t think it’s any different for you? Your primary responsibility as a wife is to meet your husband’s needs. I can help you with three little commitments that will ensure you meet your husband’s every need.

I have to be honest, it feels really awkward for me to tell ladies their primary responsibility is to meet their husband’s needs. It feels completely self-serving. And who am I to tell women how to be a good wife? The best I can offer is the male perspective. I can share things your husband is too afraid to say out loud. Not afraid of you or your reaction, but afraid he will also seem self-serving.

Fear of feeling awkward doesn’t modify truth. I have no intentions of Bible thumping here, but this truth goes all the way back to Genesis. God’s truth says, “it is not good that man should be alone” and so God decided to “make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18) Insert here any joke you’d like regarding men’s inability to cope with life without women – we’ve earned it. Given this biblical truth, I have to just get over my feelings of awkwardness. And so do you ladies.

Now, with all the awkwardness aside, let’s get down to business. How do you meet your husband’s needs? Let me share with you 3 commitments that, made daily, will certainly meet your husband’s needs.

080 – Motives In Marriage

Motives Aren't Always Bad

Welcome to episode 80 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss our spouse’s motives.

You have married a good person. Don’t allow your mind to convince you that your spouse has bad motives.

In this episode, I’ll share a few examples of misinterpreted motives and help you clear those up.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

How To Score With Your Wife

Cover these 3 bases for the win

Every husband I know wants to score with his wife. I know I do. Just like every baseball player want to score in a game, every husband wants to score. We want to score because the more we score the more we win.

I played baseball from the time I could pick up a ball until the summer of eighth grade. During middle school, I developed the inability to hit the ball. Unbeknownst to me, my eyesight was going bad. Obviously, I couldn’t hit what I couldn’t see.

I remember one particular baseball coach that stood in front of the dugout before every at bat and told our young team we had one responsibility. “Team,” he’d yell, “you have one responsibility right now. Get ‘em on, get ‘em over, and get ‘em in.” That was his strategy for scoring. It felt more like three responsibilities than one, but we were young and what did we know.

Our baseball coach felt assured if we understood this one responsibility we would score and ultimately win. Likewise with husbands, if we understand our one responsibility we are sure to score and win in our marriage. So what is that one responsibility?

Restoring an Estranged Father Son Relationship

4 reasons for restoration

My children know little more about their grandfather than his name. That’s because my father and I have been estranged for many years. Years of anger and bitterness have allowed me to convince myself it’s best we part ways. However, parenting my own children convicts me of the need to restore our father-son relationship.

Restoring an Estranged Father Son Relationship

An addiction to alcohol has driven a wedge between the two of us that has caused us to live completely separate lives though we live only a forty-five minutes’ drive from each other. I’ve witnessed the incredible influence and hold alcohol can have on a person. I don’t understand the addiction to alcohol, but I know it is real. I’ve lived through the abuse an alcohol addiction can inflict on family and friends.

Protected somewhat by my parents’ divorce at a young age, I’m one of the lucky few capable of breaking the generational cycle alcoholism tends to exhibit. I live my life in total abstinence from alcohol; primary because it truly scares me. I could likewise become a nonfunctioning alcoholic. Additionally, I believe the Bible offers very serious warning and commands to stay away from “strong drink.”

However, a major downside to my defiance against alcohol is the divide I’ve allowed it to cause in my relationship with my father. Now, I’m certainly not saying abstinence from alcohol is a bad thing. Rather, I’m saying I never should have let this separate my father and me. Likewise, I’m not saying I condone my father’s abuse of alcohol. We can have a good relationship regardless of our differing opinions regarding alcohol.

But I mentioned that my children brought about this conviction related to my relationship with my father. What do they have to do with it?

079 – 6 Friendships To Eliminate Quickly

And how to eliminate them

Welcome to episode 79 of the REAL Men Podcast. This podcast will challenge, encourage, and equip us to be God’s man at home. In today’s episode, we will discuss how to identify the friendships you need to eliminate from you life.

6 Friendships To Eliminate Quickly

Friendships can be a very positive aspect of our lives. Unfortunately, they can also be negative influences on us. Today’s podcast will help you identify six different friendships that will influence you in a negative manner. It is critical that we identify these friendship and remove them from our life.

Ending a friendship may seem like a bad thing, but not these friendships. Whether we recognize it or not, these types of friendship are bad for us. In many ways, these friendships hold us back or lead us down paths we never would have otherwise taken. While it may be difficult, ending these friendships are for the best.

Lastly, we’ll discuss exactly how to eliminate these friendships. Again, it’s difficult, but it can be done in a loving and gentle way.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

Your Greatest Need In Marriage

It isn’t what you think

I’ve been told that a person’s greatest need is to be loved. I’ve even been told that being loved is the greatest reason to endure the struggles of marriage. Maybe you’ve heard similar statements. Maybe, like me, you’ve felt those statements were lacking in some way. It’s because they aren’t true. Your greatest need, especially in marriage, isn’t to be loved. Your greatest need in marriage is actually the exact opposite.

Your Greatest Need In Marriage

I’ve discovered a biblical truth I believe the church has led me astray from. Now in fairness, the church usually describes a person’s need to be loved in regard to their need for a loving God. In the context of a person’s soul, certainly their greatest need is for a loving God to extend grace and forgiveness of sin for the purpose of salvation. But does a similar need to be loved extend to our marriage?

For years now, I’ve lived my married life under the assumption I have this great need to be loved. If I felt our marriage relationship wasn’t what I wanted it to be, it must be because my wife wasn’t loving me appropriately. She wasn’t sharing love with me according to my love language. Or she was simply too busy with the kids to devote time to me.

Trouble is, I still feel a lacking in our relationship even when she is intentional to devote time to me and love me according to my love language. If my greatest need is to be loved by my wife, why do I still feel like something is missing when I know she loves me?

It’s because I’ve been missing my greatest need in marriage for all these years. My greatest need, and your’s too, isn’t to be loved.

078 – Determination To Avoid Divorce

It isn’t the same as a determination to stay married

Welcome to episode 78 of the REAL Men Podcast. This podcast will challenge, encourage, and equip us to be God’s man at home. In today’s episode, we will discuss the difference between a determination to avoid divorce and a determination to stay married.

Determination To Avoid Divorce

Married couples may exhibit a tremendous commitment to the marriage. But is that always a good thing? At times the commitment is solely based a determination to avoid divorce. Obviously, avoiding divorce is a good thing. So how could this determination be bad?

I see a growing number of couples that are fully devoted to keep their marriage out of divorce court. However, they are completely miserable in their marriage relationship. This seems to happen more among church going couples. It seems the pressure to present as a wonderful marriage and family forces them keep the marriage together.

This commitment to avoid divorce is completely different from a commitment to stay married. A commitment to stay married drives a person to do whatever it takes to make the marriage relationship better. Dedication to stay married motivates a person to do whatever it takes to increase the happiness and oneness within the relationship.

While a determination to avoid divorce is good, a determination to stay married is better. You don’t have to live in misery. No matter what has happened in the past, you can have a marriage that makes you both happy. Episode 78 of the podcast will further define the difference and equip you to stay married. Enjoy.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

Is Marriage Worth It?

8 reasons marriage is worth the hassle

I’ve been there. I’ve thought to myself on multiple occasions; “man, this marriage thing is difficult. Is marriage worth it?” Every marriage will face this question at some point. Unfortunately, many will determine the answer to be no.

Is Marriage Worth It?

I’ll spare you the details of what got me to the point of asking myself if my marriage was worth the hassle. The details don’t really matter. It could be a huge argument, a series of small arguments, pet peeves with your spouse, or something as serious an infidelity. Whatever gets you to the point of asking if your marriage is worth it, the answer is a resounding yes.

The actions needed to re-establish a happy and healthy marriage are very much dependent on the details. A physically abusive relationship requires entirely different steps for restoration than does a couple with unresolved pet peeves. This article isn’t intended to give you steps to restorations, but rather to convince you that it’s worth taking whatever steps necessary.

077 – Marriage Or Kids First?

Overcoming the conflict parents have about top priority

Welcome to episode 77 of the REAL Men Podcast. This podcast will challenge, encourage, and equip us to be God’s man at home. In today’s episode, we will answer the question of which is more important, your spouse or your children.

Marriage of Kids First?

Married couples are often told the marriage relationship must be the top priority in their lives; aside from a relationship with Christ. There is typically no problem with this until that couple has children. Parents find themselves conflicted when it comes to making the marriage a priority over there children. Quilt trips like loving your children less, neglecting their needs, or not providing opportunities other kids have will plaque even the best of parent. The Bible does tell us to prioritize our marriage over our children. But what does that really look like. We’ll discuss exactly how that should play out in today’s podcast episode.

We’ll cover the notion that loving our spouse more means we love our children less. We’ll also explain why placing the marriage as priority over your infant child isn’t the same as neglecting their needs. Finally, providing your teenagers with everything that every other teenager has or allowing them to do what all the other kids do doesn’t have to take priority over your marriage. If the children have robbed your marriage of its priority, tune in today to find out how you can get your marriage back where it belongs.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes