The advertisement industry is incredibly adept at playing upon two primal flaws in men and women. Advertisement is laced with seductive images of female models that have been professionally photographed and edited. The images play on the visual nature of men and beauty insecurities of women. While these ads may sale product, it does nothing for a woman’s image of herself. This article will focus on ways to make your wife feel beautiful.
Female beauty has very little to do with glamorous photo opportunities. An experienced user of Photoshop can make any image appealing to the eye – especially the male eye. Beauty encompasses so much more than outward appearance. This is why we use statements to describe women like “beautiful inside and out.” This is also why you occasionally see the super model that is transparent enough to admit their insecurities about their self-image.
Whether we husbands recognize it or not, fact is our wives struggle with their self-image on some level and some point in time. When that happens to our wives, it is our responsibility to make them feel beautiful. It isn’t the responsibility of her girlfriends. It isn’t the responsibility of the children. We certainly don’t want to give general society the responsibility to make her feel beautiful. We own the responsibility.
So how can we make our wife feel beautiful? Let’s consider these ten imperatives as our personal challenge and strive to make our wife feel like the beauty queen she is.
Recognize the insecurity
We guys can miss this very easily. Our wife may struggle with any number of physical image details – weight, body shape, greying hair, wrinkles, etc. They may also face insecurity regarding their educational level, attitude, social standing, or mothering skills. All of these make up her self-image. All of these make up her being beautiful inside and out. The first step to making her feel beautiful is to recognize her struggles with insecurity.
Pray for her
This imperative is most important. I offer it as number two only because logistically speaking we have to recognize this as a need for prayer before we can devote prayer to it. Stormie Omartian describes the impact a praying husband can have on his wife in her book, The Power of a Praying Husband. I highly recommend the book and offer one of her example prayers on the subject of beauty.
Where anyone in her past has convinced her that she is unattractive and less than who You made her to be, I pray that You would replace those lies with Your truth. Keep any hurtful words that have been spoken to her from playing over and over in her mind. I pray that she will not base her worth on appearance, but on Your Word. Help her to see herself from Your perspective. Convince her of how valuable she is to You, so that I will be better able to convince her of how valuable she is to me.
Show (wife’s name) how to take good care of herself. Give her wisdom about the way she dresses and adorns herself so that it always enhances her beauty to the fullest and glorifies You. But remind her that time spent in Your presence is the best beauty treatment of all. Make (wife’s name) beautiful in every way, and may everyone else see the beauty of Your image reflected in her. In Jesus’ name I pray.
This may seem obvious, but we miss it often. Just tell her you find her attractive and beautiful. We’ve all likely heard the joke regarding the old man that never told his wife that he loved her. Her explanation is that he told her he loved her at the wedding ceremony and he would let her know if that ever changed. Like telling our wife that we love her only once, telling her only occasionally she is beautiful is negligence on our part.
Look at her
I idea of a man ogling a woman conjures up nasty mental images of a pervert. Rightly so, some loser peeking through the window of an unsuspecting woman is a pervert. However, a husband gazing fondly at his wife is pure and righteous. Stop and take a good gander at your wife with a smile on your face and be sure that she catches you doing so.
Don’t look at others
Looking at other woman is an absolute no-no. Certainly pornography falls into this imperative. Such consumption of sexual images corrupts the heart and mind of men, but it also destroys the self-image of his wife. But this also applies to the attractive lady sitting across the restaurant during your date night with your wife – don’t look. Any comments or efforts you will offer to improve your wife’s self-image will be negated with a single glance at another woman.
This differs slightly than the imperative to tell her she is beautiful in that compliments should also be shared with others. If you want to really lift her feelings regarding herself, tell your children how beautiful you think she is. And do it so she can also hear it. It teaches your children a healthy view of beauty, the marriage relationship, and their mother. Likewise, compliments like this will connect beauty to motherhood in your wife’s mind.
Never compare her to others
Much like looking at other women, comparing her to another woman can destroy her self-image. It can be her cooking, house cleaning, career, or literally anything. Just do not compare her to others.
She may embark upon efforts to increase her beauty; you need to support any of those efforts. If she wants to hit the gym on a regular basis, you need to give her the time by taking care of the kids, dinner, or the household chores. If she wants prepare healthier meals, you need to like the food and help her stick to the plan. Do not bring home Oreo cookies while she is trying to clean up your pantry.
Keep romance alive
So you tell her she is beautiful, you often look at her with those “come here” eyes, and you compliment her beauty in front of other people; good start. But if all that doesn’t connect with romance in your relationship, she will perceive it as superficial tactics to get what you want. And we all know what you want. It is super important your efforts to improve your wife’s self-image are sincere and they result in your keeping romance alive.
Be persistent is all the above
Finally, persistency is a must. It is only through persistency that our wife will begin to believe she really is beautiful. Too many other influences have her convinced she is not beautiful, and they are all persistent. Our persistence must exceed all those other influences.
1) Buy and read Stormie Omarian’s book
2) Pray for your wife daily
3) Plan how you tell her, look at her, and compliment her
4) Plan romance into your relationship
Did you know?
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If you are already a podcast subscriber, thank you so much for listening. It is my hope all the content you find here will equip you to be God’s man at home. It would mean a great deal to me if you would stop into iTunes to rate the podcast with a star rating and provide some feedback.