104 – Love is Commitment, Not Chemistry

Love also isn’t emotions or feelings

Welcome to episode 104 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the real meaning of love.

I recently wrote a blog article entitled “Love in Killing Marriage” that has garnered significant responses. Some respondents have agreed with my definition of love, while others vehemently disagree with me.

Enjoy this episode of “The Real Family Podcast” and let me know in comments if you agree or disagree with my definition of love.

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103 – My Personal Focus in 2018

What’s your focus for 2018?

Welcome to episode 103 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the New Year and my personal focus for 2018.

Some refer to it as their annual theme or word of the year. Others call it a New Year’s resolution. Me? I’m just calling it my 2018 focus.

In today’s podcast, I’ll share with you the focus I’ve chosen for 2018. I’ll explain the details of my focus and why I’ve selected it.

What is your focus for 2018?

Also in this episode – email question
From: Cassie

You claim to be a Christian and I believe you are sincere in those claims. Though you don’t always mention the Bible references, I recognize much of your advice to be from the Bible. Why do you insist on not mentioning the Bible and even seemingly apologizing when you do mention the Bible?

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Books mentioned in today’s podcast:

  


 

100 – A Real Family Podcast Recap

And why I still do what I do

Welcome to episode 100 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the history of the REAL Family Podcast.

In the beginning, my personal goal with podcasting was to publish more than seven episodes. I created this goal for myself because I had read statistics that suggested most podcasters don’t make past seven episodes.

Now here we have episode 100. I’m not sure I really had a vision of what the podcast would look like (or should I say sound like) if I actually made it 100 episodes. Regardless of my lack of vision, I’m certainly excited to be here.

Enjoy this recap episode and I look forward to serving you even more with the next 100 episodes.

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Why Do We Treat Strangers Better Than Family?

It’s common behavior, but it doesn’t have to be

I’ve watched it happen in our family numerous times. We are caught up in a heated argument among ourselves one second, then smiling, shaking hands, and cordially greeting near strangers the next second. As I’ve witnessed this behavior in our family, I ask why do we treat strangers better than family?

Believe it or not, this is a common and explainable phenomenon. Every marriage relationship will eventually experience the reality of being more polite and pleasant with strangers than the spouse. Parents will tend to be more patient and caring of other children over their own.

Let me share a couple quick examples in my own life. Consider the Sunday morning routine in our home. Church for us begins at 9:30 am. No one in our family is particularly high maintenance and require exorbitant amounts of time to get ready for church. Yet, we often find ourselves rushing across town to get there on time.

I have no patience for being late. Well, let’s revisit that statement in just a moment. My frustration with running late leads to a fierce argument on the drive to church. I’m barking orders at the kids to hurry to their respective areas of the church. Jennifer and I have begun a downward spiral of harsh words that only mutual repentance and forgiveness can help.

But then we arrive at the church. As we stroll across the parking lot into the church, we smile and ever so pleasantly greet everyone we encounter. I even cheerfully great those couples that arrive late to our group Bible study. Clearly, my impatience with tardiness only applies to my family. Similarly, I find myself listening intently and conversing deeply with small children I hardly know. I then rise to my feet and give the command to my own children, “get in the van, it’s time to go!”

The explanation of this common behavior is rather simple. It isn’t that our spouse or children have so drastically changed over time that we now loathe them.

093 – Overcoming Negative Beliefs

What they are, where they come from, & how to overcome them

Welcome to episode 93 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss overcoming negative beliefs in your relationships.

Negative beliefs can go unnoticed, but they can hinder good communication in any relationship. In today’s podcast, we will identify what they are, discuss where they come from, and most importantly how to overcome them.

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Also in this episode – email question
From: Anonymous

You seem to believe that divorce is non-negotiable. Why do you insist that those absolutely miserable in their marriage stay married?

How To Be A Good Parent

One simple responsibility of a good parent

Every parent faces these questions at some point. How can I be a good parent? What do I do to raise my children well? I’ve struggled with these and similar questions. Parenting is tough. However, parenting isn’t as scary or mysterious as we make it out to be. That is if we understand the most important responsibility of every parent.

Many parents don’t wrestle with questions of fear and uncertainty until pregnancy forces them to face reality. I, however, had to face these questions long before Jennifer and I were able to conceive. Facing my fears of being a good parent started about nineteen years ago as Jennifer and I were discussing the possibility of adoption.

As we talked through the potential of adoption, we both faced the obvious questions of loving a child that wasn’t biologically ours. Immediately after settling those adoption questions in our hearts and minds, questions regarding our qualifications to be good parents flooded our thoughts. Specifically, I asked myself this question – if I’m going to bring a child into this family, what makes me think I can be a good father to him or her?

What makes for a good parent?

In all transparency, I never really settled on a good answer to these questions before we brought our adopted son, Jacob, home. I wasn’t even able to identify what makes a good parent prior to the birth of our two biological children. However, now with three teenagers and sixteen years of parenting experience behind me, I now understand the one most important responsibility of a good parent.

089 – Killing The Entitlement Mentality

Allow your children to fail

Welcome to episode 89 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss how to eliminate the entitlement mentality in our children.

We hear all sorts of talk about the participation trophy, entitled youth, and the links between the two. We are quick to blame the sports programs for creating the entitled attitude in the youth of today. But what about us parents? Are we contributing to the entitlement mentality?

The entitlement mentality is rooted in the attitude we don’t have to work hard for what we desire. Furthermore, if we fail to achieve what we desire, entitlement causes we give up and demand someone else give it to us.

If parents teach their children to overcome failure, the entitlement attitude will be eradicated – regardless of the trophy policies of local sports and recreation departments. This is why it’s so important we allow our children to fail.

Also in this episode – email question

From: Khaldoun

Does your wife approve of all your blog posts and podcast episodes?

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Podcast Sponsor

This podcast episode is sponsored by the Call to Me Prayer Journal by Jeannine Moffitt. 

How can Christians transform the daily call to prayer, with all of its challenges, into a purposeful, organized, and enjoyable routine?

Call To Me provides an easy to use prayer journal that helps keep individuals on track and allows them to see their entire week of prayer at a glance. They can organize prayer requests, concerns, and praises into labeled columns across a spacious two-page spread. With plenty of room to journal, they can reflect on answered prayers, continuing requests, or even the impact of certain verses, all in one convenient location.

Along the bottom of each spread, Call To Me includes scriptures speaking to everyday topics that help spark prayer life. The journal’s creator, Jeannine Moffitt, has provided example spreads to nudge hesitant individuals past the starting line until they settle into their own rhythm.

With its beautifully laid out design, many find Call to Me a user-friendly tool for combined journaling and prayer. By taking care of the organization, it allows Christians to focus on the prayer itself and truly enjoy an enriched prayer life.

Jeannine is a wife, a mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, recent cancer survivor, speaker and author. Her husband is a pastor, so she can relate to other women who are also pastor’s wives and all that that brings! She is a woman with a lot of life experiences!  She’s worked in the corporate world and legal field as a certified paralegal. She’s worked in the Christian realm and non-profit arena. She (and her husband) homeschooled for 12 years. She is a recent cancer survivor and understands the difficulties and challenges of dealing with cancer. She can identify with women from varied backgrounds, various ages, and all stages of life.  She likes to use her sense of humor and quick wit to drive home truths that may be difficult to hear and even more difficult to apply!  She enjoys speaking to women and encouraging them to reach their God-given potential and become all God intended for them to be.

No matter where you’ve been—fatherless, abused, abandoned, or divorced—or where you are presently—sick, a single parent, addicted, in financial trouble—you can become the person God intended for you to be.  Jeannine will tell you that our past does not dictate our future. God has a plan for our lives regardless of our circumstances. We have a choice in what we do, and that first, critical choice is to trust God with our lives. He promises when we give our life to Him, He will show us how to live victoriously each and every day.

Jeannine has a passion for prayer and created this journal with that in mind, to help others have a deeper prayer walk with Jesus.

082 – The Power of Positive Reinforcement

How to influence your family with positive reinforcement

Welcome to episode 82 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the power of positive reinforcement to influence your family.

The concept of positive reinforcement involves a reward given for a desired behavior. Positive reinforcement is used in applications ranging from training a pet to influencing high performance teams. In today’s podcast, we will discuss how to use positive reinforcement in your family and the benefits you can expect.

Listen to the Audio

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Podcast Sponsor

This podcast episode is sponsored by the Call to Me Prayer Journal by Jeannine Moffitt. 

How can Christians transform the daily call to prayer, with all of its challenges, into a purposeful, organized, and enjoyable routine?

Call To Me provides an easy to use prayer journal that helps keep individuals on track and allows them to see their entire week of prayer at a glance. They can organize prayer requests, concerns, and praises into labeled columns across a spacious two-page spread. With plenty of room to journal, they can reflect on answered prayers, continuing requests, or even the impact of certain verses, all in one convenient location.

Along the bottom of each spread, Call To Me includes scriptures speaking to everyday topics that help spark prayer life. The journal’s creator, Jeannine Moffitt, has provided example spreads to nudge hesitant individuals past the starting line until they settle into their own rhythm.

With its beautifully laid out design, many find Call to Me a user-friendly tool for combined journaling and prayer. By taking care of the organization, it allows Christians to focus on the prayer itself and truly enjoy an enriched prayer life.

Jeannine is a wife, a mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, recent cancer survivor, speaker and author. Her husband is a pastor, so she can relate to other women who are also pastor’s wives and all that that brings! She is a woman with a lot of life experiences!  She’s worked in the corporate world and legal field as a certified paralegal. She’s worked in the Christian realm and non-profit arena. She (and her husband) homeschooled for 12 years. She is a recent cancer survivor and understands the difficulties and challenges of dealing with cancer. She can identify with women from varied backgrounds, various ages, and all stages of life.  She likes to use her sense of humor and quick wit to drive home truths that may be difficult to hear and even more difficult to apply!  She enjoys speaking to women and encouraging them to reach their God-given potential and become all God intended for them to be.

No matter where you’ve been—fatherless, abused, abandoned, or divorced—or where you are presently—sick, a single parent, addicted, in financial trouble—you can become the person God intended for you to be.  Jeannine will tell you that our past does not dictate our future. God has a plan for our lives regardless of our circumstances. We have a choice in what we do, and that first, critical choice is to trust God with our lives. He promises when we give our life to Him, He will show us how to live victoriously each and every day.

Jeannine has a passion for prayer and created this journal with that in mind, to help others have a deeper prayer walk with Jesus.

The Importance Of Forgiveness Inside The Family

My son’s lesson in forgiveness

It must have felt like the end of the world for my son. The deal he and I brokered a couple weeks back had already been broken. His mom had already notified me as to how upset he was. What Jacob needed in that moment was forgiveness, not a lecture on personal responsibilities. It was then that I was reminded of the importance of forgiveness inside the family.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Our family has a wonderful Labrador Retriever named Nelli that is four human years old. She is an outside dog, but don’t worry, she is very well cared for. She has acres of woods in which to roam, endless supplies of food and water, and a warm, dry building in which to escape from the rain and cold. Each evening, I put Nellie up in her doghouse, which is the Taj Mahal of doghouses, and let her out to roam early each morning.

Enter the deal made with our son Jacob. Jacob has wanted the German Shepherd for a long time. I’m not sure where his affinity to German Shepherds started, but he’s made it clear he wants one. About two weeks ago, I made a deal with Jacob. The deal was simple. He had to take complete care of Nelli for one month and then we would look into getting him a German Shepherd. This means he was responsible to provide Nelli with food and water, play with her, work on basic dog training with her, and check her in & out of her Taj Mahal each day.

Two weeks into the deal, Jacob forgot the let Nelli out of her doghouse one morning. Luckily, I was still at home, so a simple text message from my wife solved the dilemma. It solved the dilemma for my wife and me, but a serious concern was brewing in the heart and mind of Jacob. He wants a German Shepherd so badly, and he knew he had now broken the deal we made. A simple mistake on his part. He forgot to let Nelli out of her house, just as I’ve done a few times in the four years we’ve had her.

As his dad, I had a choice to make.

081 – One Flesh Finally Explained

Have you been confused by this biblical reference?

Welcome to episode 81 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the real meaning of the biblical phrase “one flesh”.

I’ve heard so many Bible teachers and preachers stumble over their explanation of this biblical reference to marriage. The real meaning of “one flesh” is actually rather simple. Once again, science has finally caught up with the Bible.

Today’s podcast will help you understand this mysterious reference to marriage.

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