085 – Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

It’s not the real thing anyway

Welcome to episode 85 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss a man’s perspective of comparing yourself to others.

Social media certainly didn’t create it, but it has dramatically escalated the struggle of comparing ourselves to others. Particularly vulnerable are ladies as they surf Pinterest, Facebook, and countless crafty home style websites. In this episode of The Real Family Podcast, I’ll ask you, ladies, to stop comparing yourself to others by giving you a man’s perspective of how this impacts you.

Also in this episode – email question
From: Susan

Hi Michael,
I just finished reading your post regarding forgiveness in the family. You don’t seem to mention that your son actually asked for your forgiveness. Do you think it is important one first seeks forgiveness before it is granted, especially in the case with adults? I can understand a child not asking for forgiveness, but shouldn’t we reserve forgiveness until our offender asks for it?

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes


Podcast Sponsor

This podcast episode is sponsored by the Call to Me Prayer Journal by Jeannine Moffitt. 

How can Christians transform the daily call to prayer, with all of its challenges, into a purposeful, organized, and enjoyable routine?

Call To Me provides an easy to use prayer journal that helps keep individuals on track and allows them to see their entire week of prayer at a glance. They can organize prayer requests, concerns, and praises into labeled columns across a spacious two-page spread. With plenty of room to journal, they can reflect on answered prayers, continuing requests, or even the impact of certain verses, all in one convenient location.

Along the bottom of each spread, Call To Me includes scriptures speaking to everyday topics that help spark prayer life. The journal’s creator, Jeannine Moffitt, has provided example spreads to nudge hesitant individuals past the starting line until they settle into their own rhythm.

With its beautifully laid out design, many find Call to Me a user-friendly tool for combined journaling and prayer. By taking care of the organization, it allows Christians to focus on the prayer itself and truly enjoy an enriched prayer life.

Jeannine is a wife, a mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, recent cancer survivor, speaker and author. Her husband is a pastor, so she can relate to other women who are also pastor’s wives and all that that brings! She is a woman with a lot of life experiences!  She’s worked in the corporate world and legal field as a certified paralegal. She’s worked in the Christian realm and non-profit arena. She (and her husband) homeschooled for 12 years. She is a recent cancer survivor and understands the difficulties and challenges of dealing with cancer. She can identify with women from varied backgrounds, various ages, and all stages of life.  She likes to use her sense of humor and quick wit to drive home truths that may be difficult to hear and even more difficult to apply!  She enjoys speaking to women and encouraging them to reach their God-given potential and become all God intended for them to be.

No matter where you’ve been—fatherless, abused, abandoned, or divorced—or where you are presently—sick, a single parent, addicted, in financial trouble—you can become the person God intended for you to be.  Jeannine will tell you that our past does not dictate our future. God has a plan for our lives regardless of our circumstances. We have a choice in what we do, and that first, critical choice is to trust God with our lives. He promises when we give our life to Him, He will show us how to live victoriously each and every day.

Jeannine has a passion for prayer and created this journal with that in mind, to help others have a deeper prayer walk with Jesus.

Sexless Marriage Is Least Of Your Worries

Switch your focus to these contributors

Sex frequency is often a topic of fierce debate in marriage. The unit of measure options are finite, however, they vary greatly throughout the journey of marriage. Some couples measure sex frequency in units of day or week (twice per week, for example), while other couples measure in units of a month or even year.

Being considered a sexless marriage would suggest a couple is using year for the unit of sex frequency measure. When this is the case, it is understandably easy to begin to focus on the lack of physical intimacy in the marriage. This is especially true for the spouse with the higher sex drive.

It may be tough to accept, but you are likely worried about the wrong aspects of your marriage if your sex life is measured in a couple times per year. The lack of sex in a marriage offers ample opportunity for the mind to create all sorts of falsehoods about our spouse. This intense focus on sex creates blinders that prevent us from noticing deeper concerns in our relationship.

Our twenty-three-year marriage has certainly experienced the fluctuation of sex frequency. Yes, we’ve used all units of measure – even year. Well, actually, I’m not sure we’ve every used day, but we are both ok with this reality.

As the spouse with the higher sex drive, I’ve noticed times of sex draught allow my mind to create malicious reasons my wife avoids physical intimacy with me. I must be quick to say these are all complete fabrications of my mind and do not represent the realities of our relationship.

“She doesn’t care about meeting my needs, so she must not love me anymore.”

“I’m just not good enough for her anymore.”

“She is punishing me for something I did or didn’t do.”

“She must be having an affair.”

And the list of malicious thoughts could go on and on.

It was only through talking about our sex life that I realized I had bigger worries than my sexless marriage. If you find yourself in a period of sexlessness in your marriage, be careful to shift your focus from the lack of sex and onto these five potential culprits for the lack of physical intimacy in your relationship.

084 – The Importance of Letting Your Man Down Easy

Insights into the heart & mind of your husband

Welcome to episode 84 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the importance of letting your man down easy.

For men, so much of our identity is tied up in our wife’s perceptions of us. None of us like to experience rejection, but rejection from our wife cuts extremely deep. On today’s podcast, I’ll give you a look into the heart and mind of your husband when you reject him.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

 


Podcast Sponsor

This podcast episode is sponsored by the Call to Me Prayer Journal by Jeannine Moffitt. 

How can Christians transform the daily call to prayer, with all of its challenges, into a purposeful, organized, and enjoyable routine?

Call To Me provides an easy to use prayer journal that helps keep individuals on track and allows them to see their entire week of prayer at a glance. They can organize prayer requests, concerns, and praises into labeled columns across a spacious two-page spread. With plenty of room to journal, they can reflect on answered prayers, continuing requests, or even the impact of certain verses, all in one convenient location.

Along the bottom of each spread, Call To Me includes scriptures speaking to everyday topics that help spark prayer life. The journal’s creator, Jeannine Moffitt, has provided example spreads to nudge hesitant individuals past the starting line until they settle into their own rhythm.

With its beautifully laid out design, many find Call to Me a user-friendly tool for combined journaling and prayer. By taking care of the organization, it allows Christians to focus on the prayer itself and truly enjoy an enriched prayer life.

Jeannine is a wife, a mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, recent cancer survivor, speaker and author. Her husband is a pastor, so she can relate to other women who are also pastor’s wives and all that that brings! She is a woman with a lot of life experiences!  She’s worked in the corporate world and legal field as a certified paralegal. She’s worked in the Christian realm and non-profit arena. She (and her husband) homeschooled for 12 years. She is a recent cancer survivor and understands the difficulties and challenges of dealing with cancer. She can identify with women from varied backgrounds, various ages, and all stages of life.  She likes to use her sense of humor and quick wit to drive home truths that may be difficult to hear and even more difficult to apply!  She enjoys speaking to women and encouraging them to reach their God-given potential and become all God intended for them to be.

No matter where you’ve been—fatherless, abused, abandoned, or divorced—or where you are presently—sick, a single parent, addicted, in financial trouble—you can become the person God intended for you to be.  Jeannine will tell you that our past does not dictate our future. God has a plan for our lives regardless of our circumstances. We have a choice in what we do, and that first, critical choice is to trust God with our lives. He promises when we give our life to Him, He will show us how to live victoriously each and every day.

Jeannine has a passion for prayer and created this journal with that in mind, to help others have a deeper prayer walk with Jesus.

083 – What Sacrifice Looks Like In Marriage

Easy said, difficult to do

Welcome to episode 83 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss sacrifice within a marriage.

Most people understand the marriage commitment comes with a high level of sacrifice. However, we often lack a clear understanding of what sacrifice in marriage really means. In this episode of The Real Family Podcast, I’ll simplify the meaning of sacrifice in marriage and help you with practical ways to love your spouse well.

Also in this episode

Email question
From: Anonymous

Hi Michael,
I just read your blog post entitled “How To Meet Your Husband’s Needs”. I completely agree with the points you make, but I don’t know how to convince my wife how important priority, time, and energy are. How do you recommend I get her to understand my needs as her husband?

Book Reference
The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

 


Podcast Sponsor

This podcast episode is sponsored by the Call to Me Prayer Journal by Jeannine Moffitt. 

How can Christians transform the daily call to prayer, with all of its challenges, into a purposeful, organized, and enjoyable routine?

Call To Me provides an easy to use prayer journal that helps keep individuals on track and allows them to see their entire week of prayer at a glance. They can organize prayer requests, concerns, and praises into labeled columns across a spacious two-page spread. With plenty of room to journal, they can reflect on answered prayers, continuing requests, or even the impact of certain verses, all in one convenient location.

Along the bottom of each spread, Call To Me includes scriptures speaking to everyday topics that help spark prayer life. The journal’s creator, Jeannine Moffitt, has provided example spreads to nudge hesitant individuals past the starting line until they settle into their own rhythm.

With its beautifully laid out design, many find Call to Me a user-friendly tool for combined journaling and prayer. By taking care of the organization, it allows Christians to focus on the prayer itself and truly enjoy an enriched prayer life.

Jeannine is a wife, a mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, recent cancer survivor, speaker and author. Her husband is a pastor, so she can relate to other women who are also pastor’s wives and all that that brings! She is a woman with a lot of life experiences!  She’s worked in the corporate world and legal field as a certified paralegal. She’s worked in the Christian realm and non-profit arena. She (and her husband) homeschooled for 12 years. She is a recent cancer survivor and understands the difficulties and challenges of dealing with cancer. She can identify with women from varied backgrounds, various ages, and all stages of life.  She likes to use her sense of humor and quick wit to drive home truths that may be difficult to hear and even more difficult to apply!  She enjoys speaking to women and encouraging them to reach their God-given potential and become all God intended for them to be.

No matter where you’ve been—fatherless, abused, abandoned, or divorced—or where you are presently—sick, a single parent, addicted, in financial trouble—you can become the person God intended for you to be.  Jeannine will tell you that our past does not dictate our future. God has a plan for our lives regardless of our circumstances. We have a choice in what we do, and that first, critical choice is to trust God with our lives. He promises when we give our life to Him, He will show us how to live victoriously each and every day.

Jeannine has a passion for prayer and created this journal with that in mind, to help others have a deeper prayer walk with Jesus.

4 Reasons Your Marriage Communication Fails

Understanding the proper purpose of communication

Over our 23 year marriage, I’ve notice several things about my wife that needed to change. What better way to make her aware of the changes she needed to make than to tell her? Well, it turns out there is a much better way. In fact, it’s taken me 23 years to figure out these four reasons our marriage communication fails.

Without going into too much detail, let’s just say my wife has a few quirks that drive me crazy. To be fair, her wonderful qualities far outweigh her quirks. However, am I to just let those few quirks continue to drive me crazy? Shouldn’t I say something?

No, wait. Stop right there. I’ve fallen into this trap before. I’ve made this mistake so many times I’ve lost count. And I would advise you to avoid going there as well. It is highly likely you’ve mistaken the purpose of communication in marriage and it won’t end well for you.

Marriage communication begins to break down when one or both spouses loss sight of the real purpose of communication. There are four major reasons that cause us to loss sight of that purpose. Truly examine your recent arguments and I bet you can find one or more of these misguided attitudes toward marriage communication.

082 – The Power of Positive Reinforcement

How to influence your family with positive reinforcement

Welcome to episode 82 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the power of positive reinforcement to influence your family.

The concept of positive reinforcement involves a reward given for a desired behavior. Positive reinforcement is used in applications ranging from training a pet to influencing high performance teams. In today’s podcast, we will discuss how to use positive reinforcement in your family and the benefits you can expect.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

 


Podcast Sponsor

This podcast episode is sponsored by the Call to Me Prayer Journal by Jeannine Moffitt. 

How can Christians transform the daily call to prayer, with all of its challenges, into a purposeful, organized, and enjoyable routine?

Call To Me provides an easy to use prayer journal that helps keep individuals on track and allows them to see their entire week of prayer at a glance. They can organize prayer requests, concerns, and praises into labeled columns across a spacious two-page spread. With plenty of room to journal, they can reflect on answered prayers, continuing requests, or even the impact of certain verses, all in one convenient location.

Along the bottom of each spread, Call To Me includes scriptures speaking to everyday topics that help spark prayer life. The journal’s creator, Jeannine Moffitt, has provided example spreads to nudge hesitant individuals past the starting line until they settle into their own rhythm.

With its beautifully laid out design, many find Call to Me a user-friendly tool for combined journaling and prayer. By taking care of the organization, it allows Christians to focus on the prayer itself and truly enjoy an enriched prayer life.

Jeannine is a wife, a mother, sister, mother-in-law, grandmother, friend, recent cancer survivor, speaker and author. Her husband is a pastor, so she can relate to other women who are also pastor’s wives and all that that brings! She is a woman with a lot of life experiences!  She’s worked in the corporate world and legal field as a certified paralegal. She’s worked in the Christian realm and non-profit arena. She (and her husband) homeschooled for 12 years. She is a recent cancer survivor and understands the difficulties and challenges of dealing with cancer. She can identify with women from varied backgrounds, various ages, and all stages of life.  She likes to use her sense of humor and quick wit to drive home truths that may be difficult to hear and even more difficult to apply!  She enjoys speaking to women and encouraging them to reach their God-given potential and become all God intended for them to be.

No matter where you’ve been—fatherless, abused, abandoned, or divorced—or where you are presently—sick, a single parent, addicted, in financial trouble—you can become the person God intended for you to be.  Jeannine will tell you that our past does not dictate our future. God has a plan for our lives regardless of our circumstances. We have a choice in what we do, and that first, critical choice is to trust God with our lives. He promises when we give our life to Him, He will show us how to live victoriously each and every day.

Jeannine has a passion for prayer and created this journal with that in mind, to help others have a deeper prayer walk with Jesus.

081 – One Flesh Finally Explained

Have you been confused by this biblical reference?

Welcome to episode 81 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss the real meaning of the biblical phrase “one flesh”.

I’ve heard so many Bible teachers and preachers stumble over their explanation of this biblical reference to marriage. The real meaning of “one flesh” is actually rather simple. Once again, science has finally caught up with the Bible.

Today’s podcast will help you understand this mysterious reference to marriage.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

How To Meet Your Husband’s Needs

3 Commitments To Meet His Every Need

You may recall from my previous article I made things real simple for the husbands. After all, we men are simple minded creatures. I tried to explain to husbands their primarily responsibility is to meet their wife’s needs. Well ladies, surely you don’t think it’s any different for you? Your primary responsibility as a wife is to meet your husband’s needs. I can help you with three little commitments that will ensure you meet your husband’s every need.

I have to be honest, it feels really awkward for me to tell ladies their primary responsibility is to meet their husband’s needs. It feels completely self-serving. And who am I to tell women how to be a good wife? The best I can offer is the male perspective. I can share things your husband is too afraid to say out loud. Not afraid of you or your reaction, but afraid he will also seem self-serving.

Fear of feeling awkward doesn’t modify truth. I have no intentions of Bible thumping here, but this truth goes all the way back to Genesis. God’s truth says, “it is not good that man should be alone” and so God decided to “make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18) Insert here any joke you’d like regarding men’s inability to cope with life without women – we’ve earned it. Given this biblical truth, I have to just get over my feelings of awkwardness. And so do you ladies.

Now, with all the awkwardness aside, let’s get down to business. How do you meet your husband’s needs? Let me share with you 3 commitments that, made daily, will certainly meet your husband’s needs.

080 – Motives In Marriage

Motives Aren't Always Bad

Welcome to episode 80 of the REAL Family Podcast. This podcast offers real help and hope for every family. In today’s episode, we will discuss our spouse’s motives.

You have married a good person. Don’t allow your mind to convince you that your spouse has bad motives.

In this episode, I’ll share a few examples of misinterpreted motives and help you clear those up.

Listen to the Audio

Podcast: Play in browser | Download

Subscribe on iTunes

How To Score With Your Wife

Cover these 3 bases for the win

Every husband I know wants to score with his wife. I know I do. Just like every baseball player want to score in a game, every husband wants to score. We want to score because the more we score the more we win.

I played baseball from the time I could pick up a ball until the summer of eighth grade. During middle school, I developed the inability to hit the ball. Unbeknownst to me, my eyesight was going bad. Obviously, I couldn’t hit what I couldn’t see.

I remember one particular baseball coach that stood in front of the dugout before every at bat and told our young team we had one responsibility. “Team,” he’d yell, “you have one responsibility right now. Get ‘em on, get ‘em over, and get ‘em in.” That was his strategy for scoring. It felt more like three responsibilities than one, but we were young and what did we know.

Our baseball coach felt assured if we understood this one responsibility we would score and ultimately win. Likewise with husbands, if we understand our one responsibility we are sure to score and win in our marriage. So what is that one responsibility?