Is Porn Ok in Marriage?

We just want to spice up our sex life

I’ve been asked this question so many times I figured it was time to do the research and write an article. Is porn okay in marriage? Can watching porn together as a married couple help spice up our sex life? Well, let’s dive in to find out.

I understand the common question of using pornography to spice up the sex life within a marriage. A marriage relationship can suffer through life circumstances and it’s often times sexual satisfaction that takes the greatest hit. In the desperate struggle to regain sexual satisfaction, it seems intuitive to view pornography together in order to spice things up a bit.

Okay, so intuitively porn could solve our sex problems. It seems logical that it’s okay to use pornography in our marriage. But is it?

Normally, I would simply refer you to the Bible to answer this question. There are countless Bible verses I could recite to clearly indicate pornography is always bad. For this article, I’m going to assume the answer “because the Bible says so” isn’t sufficient. I know it’s likely a bad assumption on my part, but I want to appeal to your logical side.

The points I’ll make below are based on secular research, not my opinion of pornography. I’ve included my research sources below the article for your own review. Note that all the research focuses on married couples watching pornography together, presumably for the purpose of spicing up their sex life.

Decreased satisfaction

Research consistently concludes the porn use within a marriage lowers relationship satisfaction. Furthermore, prolonged use of pornography exponentially impacts the marriage relationship in a negative way.

Compromised commitment

The foundation of a happy and satisfying marriage is commitment. Research proves that porn use compromises the monogamous commitment needed for marriage stability.

Lowered self-esteem

This is primarily an issue with the ladies. Even when watching pornography together, self-esteem is gradually lowered as one spouse witnesses the other gaining sexual gratification from watching someone else.

Diminished trust

Research has repeatedly concluded that pornography usage in a marriage results in diminished trust in the relationship. While a couple may begin watching pornography together, statistics overwhelmingly indicate eventually one spouse will begin using pornography alone. Surprisingly, even those marriages that overcome these statistics experience diminished trust due to fear of individual use.

Reduced intimacy

Sexual intimacy in a marriage is so much more than any physical act of sex. Pornography usage consistently causes a couple to focus on the physical attributes of sexual intimacy, thereby neglecting the emotional, mental, and spiritual aspect of sexual intimacy. This singular focus then results in an overall reduced sexual intimacy in the marriage.

Relational instability

All the negative ramifications listed above combine to result in relational instability of the marriage. Marital dissatisfaction and unhappiness sets in and places the marriage on shaky ground.

Decreased sexual satisfaction

Finally, research concludes that pornography usage in a marriage has the exact opposite effect as intended. Married couples introduce pornography into the relationship to increase sexual satisfaction, however, it serves to decrease satisfaction.

Given this research evidence and the wisdom found in the Bible, a couple would have to feel they are wiser than the God of the Bible and immune from tons of research and overwhelming statistic to believe it is a good idea to bring pornography into the marriage. It certainly doesn’t sound like a wise choice to me.

So, if you want to spice up your sex life, here’s an idea; get in bed, get naked, talk about the pleasures of sex as God intended them, experiment, and explore each other’s body. I feel certain your sex life will turn spicier than habanero salsa.


Research Resources:


 

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